The Last of My Adventures

  I have less than a week left in Wyoming. I have less than a week left of cleaning cabins, serving tables, living with roommate(s), waking up for breakfast at six in the morning, going out at night despite the wake up call, sitting out at bonfires, watching horses, going on adventures, walking around Cody, late night Walmart runs, joking around in the kitchen, spending my free time taking naps, and eating in a dining room with ten or twelve other people.
   When everyone told me the summer was going to go by fast, I knew they were right, but I still had trouble believing it. And now the end is in sight after eleven weeks of working hard and playing harder. I have been to Cody, Powell, Red Lodge, Gardiner, Silver Gate, and through Yellowstone, the Tetons, and Beartooth Pass. I have had so many firsts this summer from horseback riding to white water rafting to seeing a rodeo to dressing up and going out at night. I've met so many incredible people that I know I'll stay in touch with for years to come. I've seen so many new things and explored new places that I hope I'm able to come back and visit - on vacation next time! I've learned so much about myself, life, other people, life in Wyoming, life in Maryland, my future, and so much more, which I'm excited to share with all of you when I return. I am in complete denial that I will never work another weekend at Bill Cody Ranch.
   I think I've laughed more in the kitchen here than maybe anywhere else. Though it can be slow, grueling, and painful, we have such a great time together in that kitchen. I have laughed so hard and so often here. It's wonderful. Like when I was talking about my short film, "Omniscient," and I said, "Omniscient is badass," and Kate heard, "A mission for that ass." Then David added that it sounded like a porno and the cover would be two guys with guns with a giant butt between them. Call me immature, but it was hilarious at the time. I literally dropped to the floor. Or when everyone was trying to pronounce Les Misérables and we decided to make a parody that takes place in the ghetto called "Lay Miserblay." Or when Erin was reading 50 Shades of Grey out loud in the car and after a page and a half, David asks, "Are they just going to keep eating ice cream? 'He got a spoonful and ate it. Then he got another spoonful and wouldn't let me have any.'" All of these sound so stupid, but I had stomach cramps from laughing at all of them. There were also many, many fits of laughter watching Kate and Chantel biff it outside and at Table.
   Turns out I'm pretty good at things I've never done before - shooting a gun, playing pool, playing beer pong (don't worry, adults, we played with water for all us underage folk). Like I said, I've had so many firsts this summer and I LOVE trying new things! I hope I can find something to do back in Maryland with this sharpened sense of adventure.
   I know I'm going to miss it here, but I'm excited to get home. It sucks to think I'm going back home to only a few friends again, though. Since I've never been the type to go out at night and party or go on adventures, I've actually found it to be really fun here with this lovely group of folks. Unfortunately, there aren't places at home like there are here - bonfires, mountains, bars that allow a younger crowd, etc. I used to be so against drinking and smoking and what I once thought to be dumb life choices like that, but this summer has continued to teach me about those things. Though I'm still not much into them personally, I always felt bad for being so annoyed with people that did that stuff, which is basically everyone my age. When I was in my early high school years and my older friends went off to college, they all fell into the normal college scene. For so long, I was disgusted and disappointed, which was so dumb, but I couldn't help but feel that way. Fortunately, the people I know who do do this stuff are at least smart and safe about it. I've become a whole lot more accepting of a lot of different lifestyles, which I think is important. I'm glad I know how to have fun without alcohol and drugs and sex, but I'm also glad that I can finally respect and understand those who make those decisions for themselves.

   Today another family member leaves us - one of my roommates, Erin. It's weird to think it'll be me very soon. I've been trying to cram in all the experiences I can while I'm still here, living in the moment and taking it one day at a time. I finally got to go back to Yellowstone on Tuesday, this time with Amanda. Artist's Point is my new favorite piece of the park. I stared for much too long. Amanda was very patient with me. Going to Red Lodge and Beartooth on Wednesday with Kate, Erin, and David was probably my favorite day here. Red Lodge is the cutest town ever - lots of cute shops, friendly people, and a DELISH burger at Bogart's. Winding through the Beartooth Mountains was breathtaking. Beartooth Pass is most definitely the most beautiful thing I've ever seen - and may always be. If you ever get the chance to come out to Wyoming or Montana, you HAVE to go! Even though it's a long drive, it was great to have snacks, good company, and fun music to keep us going.
   The past couple nights we've gone to Table Mountain and YVI, the bar of choice here, which have been really fun. It was my first time at Table - basically a pit deep in the mountains with a bonfire. It looks like you're in this sunken spot and all the way around you are crazy mountains and trees and stars. It was so incredibly beautiful. I just kept circling, looking around, taking it in. We made a fire and blasted music and danced and played beer pong (with the aforementioned water). Chantz and I won twice in a row! It was just so, so, so much fun, even if I did get to bed at 2AM. Singing karaoke and playing pool at YVI yesterday was also a lot of fun. We had to cut the night short, but I still found out I'm pretty good at pool, and got some appreciated applause for my renditions of Lady Antebellum and The Band Perry songs.
 

   Six days. Barely. More like five and a quarter. How freaking crazysauce is that? The first things I'm doing when I get home? Epson salt bath, PF Chang's, chiropractor, massage, Chipotle, sushi, and of course driving to Fredericksburg to see my recently moved second family! The next blog post will probably be written from the Salt Lake airport. :)

Our last picture with Erin!

Ice cream in Montana after Yellowstone with Amanda.

Beartooth Pass with David, Erin, and Kate.

Beartooth Mountain lookout with Kate, Erin, and David.

Table Mountain with these goobers.

A History Lesson: William F. Cody

   When I started working at Bill Cody Ranch, I didn't think its namesake was of much significance. I figured someone had come along and named is after himself and that was all there was to it. And like a moron, I didn't even question the fact that the town was named Cody. Little did I know there was a whole museum dedicated to William "Buffalo Bill" Cody. I would have never even heard of him if it weren't for my summer in Wyoming. As it turns out, Buffalo Bill was a really interesting worker, husband, father, and public figure, and I feel it's my duty to share what I've learned. My following "essay" was composed with information only from the Buffalo Bill Center of the West.

   William F. Cody was born on the far bank of the Mississippi River on the dividing line of the East and West in 1846, when the U.S. was at war with Mexico. During his lifetime he witnessed American expansion and settlement from the Atlantic to Pacific coast, the civil war and end of of slavery, industrialization, immigration, women's rights, and inventions like the telephone, electric light, and portable cameras. Through his work, family, and love for nature and performing, Cody made a name for himself - one that is still legendary today in movies, plays, and stories.
   Always a dedicated worker, Cody had a series of jobs before his public persona, "Buffalo Bill," was created. Left without a father at just eleven years old, he began tending cattle with a freighting company in 1857. He spent his school years mostly outdoors, learning from Indians, cowboys, hunters, and teamsters. At age 17, he enlisted as a teamster with the rank of Private in the 7th Kansas Calvary, and served until discharged in 1865. In 1867, he started scouting for the U.S. Army. Cody was a professional buffalo hunter, providing meat for the Army and the Kansas Pacific Railroad workers. He never participated in killing buffalo for their hides, believing it unnecessary. Brevet General Eugene A Carr said of Cody, "He is a most extraordinary hunter." Soon, his appearance became synonymous with a fresh supply of buffalo meat, providing the men he served with the nickname "Buffalo Bill." From 1869 onward, this alter ego and his adventures became the subject of short stories, novels, and plays. "Buffalo Bill" became the hero of more fictional stories than any other figure in American history.

   Though Cody loved hunting, another love soon entered his life. In 1865, he met Louisa Frederici in St. Louis, and they married the next year. Their marriage was strained from the beginning with Louisa wanting to settle down and Cody wanting freedom to roam. Louisa and Cody had four children together: Arta (Dec 1866), Kit Carson (Nov 1870), Orra Maude (Aug 1872), and Irma Louise (Feb 1883). Cody was absent for each birth, as he was from much of his family's lives. Further straining their marriage was the death of five-year-old Kit from scarlet fever in 1876. Eight years later, the illness also took eleven-year-old Orra. Arta had always been Cody's favorite child, and her love was torn between her absent father and estranged mother. In 1888, she married her way out of the struggle.

   By 1883, Cody felt his character couldn't convey the openness and romance of the West on the stage alone. He wanted to create outdoor entertainment with real cowboys and Indians and animals. Thus was born Buffalo Bill's Wild West. Cody combined techniques from stage plays, circus acts, rodeos, and pageants. His Wild West show created a new genre of entertainment, often referred to as an "exhibition," but instead of William F. Cody's name on the banners, it was his Buffalo Bill persona that took the credit. His shows transformed public opinion to believe cowboys were strong, courageous, and reliable, when they were once thought to be outcasts. By 1885, the Wild West also presented cowgirls, whose talents rivaled those of their male counterparts. In the late 1890's, the Wild West demonstrated great diversity, featuring performers from nearly every continent.
   It wasn't William F. Cody that was the world's most famous person, but his persona Buffalo Bill Cody. He was now an international super star, performing for presidents, princes, queens, and even meeting the Pope. He traveled roughly 250,000 miles on the road between 1883 and 1913. In a hotel register in 1892, Cody gave his residence as "The World." In the mid-1890's, Cody helped found Cody, Wyoming, but had to stay on the road. Along with his experience and travel, Cody's values changed over time. He once saw Indians as the enemy, but was now an advocate for Indian American citizenship. He had also always appreciated the independent nature of women and was convinced women could and should do anything men could do, including vote.

 In the States:

Each red dot represents a city in which Buffalo Bill performed his Wild West show.

 Internationally:

Each red dot represents a city in which Buffalo Bill performed his Wild West show.

   During his divorce trial in March 1905, the court sided with Louisa, and Cody's reputation was badly tarnished. In his final years, Cody's fortune was fickle, as it had always been, and his health worsened. His final attempts with plays and novels flopped. On January 10, 1917, William F. Cody died in Denver, Colorado, but Buffalo Bill lived on. A banner headline announced the news as "the end of an era." 25,000 people showed their respects as Cody lay in the Colorado statehouse. "Buffalo Bill" still lives today in stories, novels, plays, and movies, and remains one of the most influential people in the New West. The NFL team, the Buffalo Bills, also carry his namesake. Disneyland Paris even has a Buffalo Bill's Wild West show. And of course, a museum lies in his honor in Cody, Wyoming.
  
   I have thoroughly enjoyed my trips to the Center of the West. Along with their Bill Cody museum, they also have four more: the Draper Natural History Museum, the Whitney Western Art Museum, the Cody Firearms Museum, and the Plains Indian Museum. The Center also features a sculpture garden, raptor experience, photography gallery, and research library. If you ever find yourself in Cody, I highly recommend a trip to the Buffalo Bill Center of the West! You won't be disappointed.

I Shot a Gun!

   I would say the epitome of my time here is the fact that everyone is going out yet again tonight, and I'm staying in, laying on the couch, watching High School Musical 3 for the third time this week. And I'm pretty much okay with that.
   This past week has been a whirlwind of mood swings. I had a couple of really good days, then a couple of really bad days, and today I'm just feeling alone and introspective like I always do when I have little to no social interaction. This past week, I've been really trying to live in the moment and enjoy my last few weeks here, and some days it worked. Today is not one of those days. On my bad days, half the time I don't even know why I'm grumpy. The other night we all went to Wal-mart and I don't know why, but I was just done with everything and everyone and I felt like poop, and I just wanted to be in bed two hours earlier than I actually got there. I still have a lot of trouble getting my ass out of bed every morning. Just like with school, I think if I could sleep in a couple more hours, the day would be so much more productive. But alas. Every time I'm starting to really enjoy my time here, even while I'm working, something happens to put me back in my place and in a bad mood.
   But how about I share some of this week's good memories? For only the second time, I went out with most of my co-workers to a bar called YVI. It also happened to be karaoke night, which is probably the only reason I could get myself to go. I sang three songs (Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill, and Miranda Lambert), then a duet with another co-worker, Jordanne, to "Leave the Pieces" by the Wreckers, and yes, I have video evidence. I also had a virgin daiquiri, which makes any night a better one. I was surprisingly awake all night, except for almost falling asleep on the way home. I felt honored to receive a compliment on my voice as we hauled ass up the driveway, admiring those surreal stars. It was actually a really fun night, and I hope to go again before I leave.
   The night after, Amanda, Angela, and I built a bonfire up near the corrals and sat around and talked for a couple hours. Those stars are seriously mind-blowing. I could look at them for hours. If I weren't so scared of bugs, I'd just lie on the ground and stare up at them to minimize neck kinks. It was a simple night, but a memorable one. I even saw my first shooting star!!
   Over the last eleven days, the New York Yankees' recruiter and his family, the Rowlands, had been staying with us. They are all such incredible, loving, humble people. They taught me how to shoot my first gun! They had a BB gun tournament with cans and targets they hung out behind their cabin. I did surprisingly well, the best one on my team (aside from the Mom, of course). I had several conversations with them throughout their stay and thoroughly enjoyed all of their stories. I really wish I could have asked more questions and heard more stories, but time and work didn't permit it. They left this morning, and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
   Following the trend of interesting guests, I served a couple from Georgia, who made great conversation, and also a sixteen-year-old piano prodigy with paid film gigs – only a junior in high school! After I talked with mostly his grandmother during breakfast, I mentioned being a film student, which triggered even more conversation. This kid, Adam Beesley, for future stardom reference, made his first school project in eighth grade, and his high school liked it so much they hired him to do stuff for the school. A bunch of other people have contacted him for work, too. Then after the meal, he sat down at the piano and blew our minds. He played absolutely gorgeous renditions of Let It Go, Beauty and the Beast, Part of Your World, I See the Light, and many more. He showed me the (LONGEST FREAKIN) list of songs he knew. Oh, he also can't read sheet music. He plays by ear. He can hear a song on the radio, then come home and play it. I picked out a couple songs and sang with him. I really wish I had my camera handy. I would have loved to see us do I Dreamed a Dream. He was basically just the coolest kid ever, and I wish he'd been three years older.

   I wanted to go on my first trail ride today, but that fell through. Instead, I snacked all day because I'm out of coloring material, and watched movies and tried to bear with the slowest internet in the world. Then I took a nap. Then I continued the snacking and movie watching. Tomorrow I'm happily going back to the museum, even though I already saw all of it. I won't have a car, so Kate will drop me there on her way to Powell. I'll spend as long as I can there, then maybe walk a couple blocks down Sheridan to visit the trinkety tourist shops. I have my eye on some huckleberry pajama pants and sibling Christmas presents.
   Okay, y'all. Three and a half weeks. They may be dragging, but they're all I've got left in Wyoming, and I'm trying to make the best of them. Happiness is a choice!!
  

The First Goodbye

   Yesterday was the first goodbye of the season, but at least Briar went out with a bang. Briar, this one is for you! I was the closest with Briar here at the ranch, so the plan for her last night in Cody was to stay up all night and watch movies, then hike up the mountain behind the ranch to watch the sunrise. What ended up happening was just as eventful and kind of inevitable.
   Briar packed through my dinner shift, so when I got off we watched our first movie. Then I took a nap from 11-2AM while she continued packing. When I came out of my room at 2, she was passed out on the couch in our front room. I woke her up, and we started another movie while we ate sunflower seeds and cold, leftover steak. She kept dozing off during the movie, so I kept waking her up. Eventually, I gave up. After the movie was over, she was sound asleep, so I tried to go to sleep on the couch, too. Suddenly, she bolted upright and said, "Wait! We have to set an alarm for the sunrise!" So she did. And when 5AM rolled around, the alarm was blaring, and she didn't even flinch. Finally, I turned it off and just went to go sleep in my own bed and left her a note to wake me when she was finished packing.
   Kate, Chantel, and I took her to the airport, where we sent her off with letters and hugs. I have some extremely heartbreaking pictures of our last hugs. Finally, we had to say goodbye. I'm still in denial, and it really hasn't hit me yet that she's gone for good, even though I've spent a lot of time alone these past couple days. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with myself now that she's gone.
   I believe there will be two more departures before mine in exactly one month. Like I said previously, I'm trying to live in the moment, but I am so so so excited to go home. This month is going to drag on. I'm so excited to go back to school and start my videography stuff. I got word back from a Women's and Birthing Center in Arnold that they'd be happy to host my business cards and send clients my way. I am so pumped! I've been re-watching all the birth documentaries on Netflix, and am probably way too excited. I've gotten some weird reactions from people when I tell them I'm doing birth videography in the Fall, but also a lot of amazing, supportive reactions. I guess it's not really a common job for an eighteen year old, but that's okay by me.
   I'm still having so much fun meeting new guests. A few nights ago, we had a group with four young kids stay here, and they were so much fun to talk to and play with at mealtimes. The ranch owners also have their granddaughters here for a month or so, and they are so energetic and fun and helpful. They help us bring out plates and take orders and even get some of their own tips. They are adorable, and they really make me miss my kids at home that I used to babysit. All the kids really lifted my spirits these past few days.
   I've waited on people from all over the world. California, Maryland, North Carolina, New York, Minnesota, Wyoming, The Netherlands, Italy, Germany, Norway, England, Australia, Denmark, and there is only more to come! I'm having such a great time hearing everyone's stories and asking the best places to go in their respective areas.
   I'm getting really burnt out as I start my third month at the ranch, but the guests keep me hopeful and refreshed. Though the hours are long, this has been without a doubt the most rewarding and life-changing experience for me yet, and I can't wait to use everything I've learned this summer when I get back home. Just one month to go! Enjoy the quiet while you can, Annapolis.

The Steak Fiasco

   Well, I've miscounted my weeks here, and I have more ahead of me than I once thought. I thought yesterday marked four weeks left, but I was sadly mistaken. Instead, I will be fighting to survive for five more weeks.
   On my days off, I experience wonderful, new, and beautiful things and am just happy to be where I am. But during the work week, I am starting to get seriously burned out. My joints always hurt, my feet always ache, and even when I try to get enough sleep, most days result in a midday nap that can't come soon enough. Yesterday was particularly brutal, other than the ice cream sundae party I organized.
   Breakfast was busy, and we had so many time-consuming rooms to change. On top of that I had to fill in for the chef last night. I finished cleaning rooms around 2, and immediately starting prepping dinner. Our ice cream party was at 3, and I had dinner in the oven by 4:10. Then I had to work the barbecue, which started much better than expected and was actually pretty fun, though it's a really good thing that it rained and we had to do it inside. But then we had thirteen orders for sirloin steaks, which is pretty much unheard of for BBQ nights. We only had six thawed. I starting thawing more when we were down to four, and still it resulted in angry customers and angry bosses. It wasn't exactly my fault, but it was my responsibility. It would have been irresponsible to thaw that many steaks anyway, but still.
   I'm over it. So last night, we finally get off, I finally get to sit and soak my feet. With five people hanging out in our little front room, I announce that I hope tomorrow will be easier. They inform me that the room load is heavy again today. This morning, I could barely get out of bed, but I finally did. And as I'm brushing my teeth, someone comes in and tells me I could have slept in. I mean, I obviously went back to bed for an hour, but still. Little frustrating.
   Fingers crossed, today won't be that bad. I'm counting down the minutes until I can sleep in Tuesday morning and not have to deal with filling syrup containers and choking on 409 for two days.
  
   Now that that rant is over, I thought I'd tell those of you who don't know about my living arrangements. I live downstairs in a two story cabin in a room with two other girls. We have a little front room and we all share a small bathroom with a box of a shower (you can forget about shaving!). When I first got here, I grinned and bore it, but little did I know I was lucky to be downstairs. Upstairs holds six people, and there are no doors. Everyone has there own little nook and many have chosen to string up curtains for privacy. even the bathroom has a curtain for a door, as do the two showers and two toilets inside. But there's also a cute little balcony upstairs, which is nice to sit out on during a day off when it's breezy. Up the driveway a ways are four or five other rooms with a couple people each. My cabin is right next to the lodge and the maid's closet, which I suppose is convenient, but also loud.
   Staff meals are at 6AM, 11AM, and 5PM, and if you miss them, you can starve. Lately I've been skipping breakfast so I can sleep for another 30-40 minutes. We serve breakfast to guests 7-9 and dinner 6-8, although it's not a night at BCR if someone doesn't come in five to closing. In between, we clean cabins and hope to get a break.
   I am so excited to go home, but I wish I wasn't because it makes it hard to live in the moment. I know I will miss this place, and I know I want to come back, just as a vacation next time. I know after a week of being home I'll want to come back, but I'm seriously so excited to go home and start school and kick-start my videography opportunities. One day at a time, I guess.

Six Down, Six to Go

   These past couple weeks have included a lot of firsts for me. Among them, a bonfire, riding a horse, the rodeo, seeing the Tetons, and going out late at night.
   The stars here make me feel like I'm at the Maryland Science Center Planetarium. They are unreal. I have kinks in my neck some mornings from looking upward all night. The other night I was pretty sure you could see the Milky Way. It was also almost 2AM...
   Tomorrow will mark six weeks since I arrived here in Cody, Wyoming. Crazy sauce. I've only been looking ahead, being so excited to get home, but when I look back I can't believe I've been here that long. It feels both like I've been here for a year and I arrived yesterday. Weird. Six more weeks here seems like an eternity, just because I'm so excited to fly home and enjoy the familiarity of home for a day or two. I'm sure I'll be bored soon thereafter. I've already had so many crazy, new, fun experiences here, and I know I have a limited time to finish the summer with a bang.
   I've learned a lot out here, about life, people, and myself. I guess I already knew that I liked people, but I didn't know to what extent. Meeting not only the staff, but also all the guests has opened my mind so much. I love love love meeting new people. Every day is a new opportunity to talk to the guests and find out where they're from, what brought them to Cody, what they do, where they're going, and whatever else comes up while we're waiting for their steaks to cook. We get a lot of foreigners here, which can be a blessing or a curse, depending on how much English they speak. I've met so many cool people already, and I'm looking forward to those that I have yet to meet, in Wyoming or otherwise.
   On top of the new faces I see every day, it's really fun making friends with my co-workers. As I get older, I find it harder to make new friends easily. Everyone is doing their own thing and everyone already has a group of friends. This age is weird, at least for me, in that even though I still love and have fun with my high school friends, I don't have anyone near me on a daily basis. When I get back in the Fall, I'm not exactly looking forward to reliving this cycle. It's kind of nice to be thrown into this situation where I have to make friends, and everyone's a people person on purpose (Say that three times fast!). I have so many cool opportunities to explore when I get home, and I really think this Fall is going to be fresh and exciting. I'm learning a lot about how to make the most out of life, and I hope I can bring that with me going into the school year.
   In other news, everyone is going out tonight to celebrate the 4th of July, and I was looking forward to going with them, but I've just felt so blah all day. I've been trying not to make up my mind until tonight. We'll see how that goes. In the mean time, enjoy some Teton highlights below.

Looking over Snake River and the Grand Teton Mountains.

 Colter Bay Marina

 Beautiful spot behind the Chapel of the Sacred Heart, in what I believe is Jackson Lake in the Tetons.

On Jenny Lake in the Tetons. I like this picture because I think look like my Mama. :)

Inspiration Strikes Again

   This weekend the ranch hosted twenty seniors, who are a part of an Art Council in North Carolina and were on a bus tour through Utah and Wyoming. I wish I got to hear more of their stories, but one in particular will have to do.
   Last night after the dinner rush was over, they were all sitting in the lobby/saloon and one of them sat down at the piano and started playing. Vivaldi, Beethoven, Clair de Lune. Even an old folky cowboy song in which we all participated. It was absolutely amazing. I just stood there, watching his fingers strike the keys, in awe. The songs were so beautiful and it made me wish I had been forced to play piano as a kid. This morning, I got to talk to him at breakfast.
   I never got his name, but he mentioned in so many words that he was 68, which I found very hard to believe, considering he looked 40. When he was younger, he worked on a farm for a few weeks during two different summers on a plantation in Virginia built in the early 1900s. The original structure was huge with eleven bedrooms and twelve bathrooms. Supplemental houses were built for more staff. All the fixtures were silver and gold. He was told he could sleep in, but he said if he was going to be a farmer, he was going to do it right. He was the first one up at quarter after five every morning. They milked almost two hundred cows twice a day. During his time on the farm he even got to assist with the birth of a calf.
   He's been playing piano since he was four. He has a double degree in organ, his main instrument of choice, and conducting. His symphony has flown in big opera singers from San Francisco and Germany to sing with them. While in Salt Lake City, he got to hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, an item now on my bucket list. He even got to sit in at rehearsal and hear the concert and conductor's notes before the show. He told stories about different places he's visited, and how sometimes a name drop would allow him to play some of the most prestigious organs in the world. He even bragged that his friend has the eighth largest organ in the world.
   I really want to take piano lessons now. I want to be able to sit down and play something from the top of my head and wow everybody and inspire others like this man inspired me. I wish we could have talked longer, but he and the tour group are headed off to the airport this morning to go back to NC.
   I love hearing people's stories. I wish I could have talked to more of the group. But I've got a long day's work ahead of me that I'm sure will dampen my spirits a bit. I wish I had classical piano on my ipod!

I Went Whitewater Rafting and Lived to Tell the Tale

   I had a lot of feelings during my rafting trip. The first was fear, then excitement, then the absolute pleasure of freezing my hypothetical balls off. Once we arrived at the drop off location, it started snowing. Yes, snowing in June. I can check that one off my bucket list. They gave us wetsuits (I admire my scuba certified family more now) and big water-resistant smocks. We went over all our safety information, and got in the raft. It then started snowing harder. Sheets of white came down in front of us for at least ten minutes, probably more like fifteen. But I have to say, it was so worth it. The snow was absolutely stunning. Our tour guide said he'd never been on a trip where it snowed so much.

   I went with my friend and co-worker Briar, and our group was made up of two older couples and our tour guide, who was adorable if I do say so myself. Briar can confirm this fact. Of course we got a selfie with him, but we both looked pretty horrible after the ride.
   Highlights of the trip were the snow and coming about twenty yards away from a huge Mama moose and her calf on the river bank. Our tour guide admitted he was "scared shitless" once we had safely passed. The moose could have reached us in three steps, and the fur on her back started to stick up like she was going to charge. It was awesome!!
   There were a lot of spots where the water was very calm and we weren't paddling and everyone was quiet, and I felt all the feels. It was so surreal. This is my life! I kept saying to Briar, "I am on a river in Wyoming, thousands of miles from home right now. What is life?!" The mountains were so incredibly beautiful, there's just no way to describe it all. I got quite wet, muddy, ruined my good sneakers, and was actually worried about frost bite in some parts of the trip, but it was so worth it, and I want to go again!
 

   After rafting, I finally got a hot shower (Ahh!) and then Briar and I went to town. After errands, we went to the movie theater for a double feature. For me, The Fault in Our Stars again. For her, How to Train Your Dragon 2. Then we met back up for 22 Jump Street, which was flawless and hysterical and highly recommended.
   It was about 9PM by the time we got out of the theater, and Briar just wanted to drive around a bit. The sun had just set, so the sky still had this yellow-green glow to it. Somehow we ended up on some highway, driving into nothing. All the mountains somehow got behind us, and ahead of us the earth was completely flat. It was crazy. We were both in awe. We cranked up the radio and cracked the windows and drove into nothing as the sky grew darker and darker, and it was what I always wanted summer to be, at home or otherwise. It was so refreshing and relaxing and rejuvenating, and it was the perfect end to a long, ridiculously fun day.
   Yesterday reminded me of why I wanted to be here in the first place. I am ridiculously homesick, especially after a Skype session with the whole family on Monday, but I'm trying to enjoy every moment out here. There are a lot of frustrating aspects of this job and the location in general, especially since I don't have a car out here, but the positives still outweigh the negatives.
   More than any feeling, yesterday I had so much gratitude in my heart. I am so grateful that my parents pushed me to do this, I am so grateful Briar and I get along, and I am so grateful I finally put on my big girl pants and geared up for an adventure.

A crappy cell phone photo of the flatness in front of us on our drive.

A City Girl Goes Country

   If you don't know yet, I am spending a total of twelve weeks in Cody, Wyoming this summer to work at Bill Cody Ranch. I debated whether or not I should start a blog my first week here and decided against it, but sometimes there are thoughts I need to share in length. So here I am, almost three weeks in, starting a blog for the remaining nine.

   I expected my first few days here to be the worst. I kept waiting for a mental breakdown. Full-on homesickness, wanting to quit, not fitting in. Then I expected to get used to it. I'd make friends, I'd become familiar here, I'd embrace my independence. What's strange is that the opposite is true. My first full day here was amazing, if only because it was one of the last I'd spend with my dad all summer. Yellowstone was never a bucket list item for me, but now that I've seen a little bit of it, I want to see all of it. It is so breathtakingly beautiful. The next few days I loved having roommates and eating meals with all of the staff and being in charge of my own decisions. As the weeks went on, though, I started to miss home more and more. I don't exactly miss Annapolis, I just miss everyone there. I miss my Mom a whole lot more than I had anticipated. Even though I only see them on occasion, I miss my older siblings. I miss my little brother's witty remarks and vulgar jokes. And I really miss my Dad's hugs. I feel like I'm missing out on a summer with those of my friends that are home from college, and those who are going off for the first time in the Fall. I feel guilty for leaving so many people behind. And then I remember that I need to do something for myself for once. 

   Wyoming has already inspired me in ways I never knew were possible. It's already put ideas in my head for next summer. It's taught me a lot about myself already, and it's put a lot of things in perspective. My family will be happy to know that I will be much more appreciative for what I have back home in Maryland. But my wanderlust is even worse now. I want to go everywhere! The absolute worst part about the job is not having a car. Most of the staff do. People here go on road trips on their days off, and go into town or Yellowstone whenever they have a break. I would never be on the ranch when I have time off if I had a car!

   I'd like to end my first blog post with a poem I wrote this morning. I usually don't share my poetry with a lot of people, but why the hell not? It doesn't have a title yet. I'm working on it!

The days feel like hours,

the weeks like years

early birds order their worms 

and I serve half-asleep, still in a trance,

as the chill nips at my skin.

Each sizzle, crack, clank

becomes a metal symphony,

smoke drowning up into the vents,

footsteps linger, coffee brews.

Out on my green steed

I speed with crates of linens

and chemicals strong enough to make me ill

and the rocks dissolve under rough tires as I make my deliveries.

Spray, wipe, clean

a choreographed dance in its second week.

Perfection is our aspiration, never to be met

aching to sit, aching to stay focused, aching to succeed.

When finally the chance arrives to check off the day's monotony,

we should know it's never over,

growing old, not growing older.

The afternoon exhales and the cold returns,

only to be fed by equine dreams.

No rest for my wicked feet,

no night would be complete without a steady standing

and a slender night's sleep.